Grand Opening!

WELCOME to the Barbecued Manatee Cafe, where the grill is always hot, the menu never changes, and the secret’s in the sauce.

 Today’s special is the Maximum Manatee Party Platter – perfect for groups of 42 or more.  Comes with fries, slaw and drinks for one low price.

 Relax, no actual manatees were harmed in the creation of this blog.  All will be explained.

 OK, so who am I, your humble host?

 I’m a temporarily unemployed newspaper reporter, or as I see it, a storyteller, in Ocala, Florida.  I’ve interviewed everyone from serial killers to second-graders, felons to fatcat financiers, often finding the felons more fascinating.  My theory of journalism is a simple one – everybody has a story, and it’s my job to tell it.

 The current economic mess interrupted that job on Oct. 17, 2008. That’s when I became an unemployment statistic, one of more than a dozen folks downsized from the Ocala Star-Banner.  Given the implosion of the newspaper industry in the last few years, that likely was my last day in a newsroom.

No hard feelings. The Banner was my happy professional home for nearly a decade, and they treated me fairly when the time came to make the budget cuts they’d been putting off as long as possible.

 I miss the job, of course.  One of the joys of being a reporter  is talking to all kinds of people on a daily basis – judges, business people, cops, hot dog vendors, folks who want to protest this or promote that.  And I miss the writing. I love the sight, the feel, the SOUND of a well-turned phrase, the magical wordplay that makes one smile.

 That brings me here – an outlet for the writing urge that drove me into the business in the first place. Birds gotta fly, manatees gotta swim, I gotta write. If I can’t tell anyone else’s story, might as well tell my own.

 Oh yeah, about the name.  That came from my last days at the Star-Banner. With six weeks’ notice of the impending layoff, choices included laughter or crying. I chose laughter. Since the S-B’s kid-friendly promotional mascot is Matt Manatee, and the manatee is one of the most beloved animals in Florida,  my desk soon sported a sign reading “Will barbecue manatees for cash.”

  After that, it just seemed an appropriate name for the blog.  Well, that and a sauce recipe passed down from my great-grandmother.... not sure I want to know how she perfected it, since as far as I know, there are no manatees in Kentucky.

 So come on in, there’s plenty of room. The jukebox is loaded and ready to go.  The coffee’s hot, and laughter is encouraged at all times. Pull up a chair, browse the menu, peruse the wine list – we highly recommend the Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill – and enjoy.  Bon Appetit!

                                                     Chef Rick